I was going to write about Mark Zuckerberg losing $7bn (R105.4bn) in personal wealth in a matter of a few hours, after his popular apps experienced global outages and a whistleblower blew the lid off the dark side of Facebook and Instagram. The one percenters increased their fortunes out of our misery during global lockdowns; it’s nice to see one of them getting hurt in the stockmarket. Though when you are worth $120bn (R1.8-trillion), losing $7bn (R105.4bn) is like parting with pocket change. Poor thing, he’ll probably have to postpone adding another mega yacht or private jet to his collection.
But my attention is suddenly caught by a picture circulating on Twitter. It is of a DA poster in Phoenix, Durban, the scene of ugly racial clashes and killings during the July unrest. It is hung high up a street light pole and reads: “The ANC called you racist. The DA calls you heroes.”
At the time of writing, the DA hadn’t responded to the outrage this poster was sparking on Twitter. They are yet to explain how reckless race-baiting in an area where wounds are still fresh is considered an acceptable vote-catching strategy. The day before, we were left gobsmacked by a clownish video featuring their councillor in Bonteheuwel on the Cape Flats, Angus McKenzie, engaging in ludicrous racial profiling. His “vote for me” video was a two cents gimmick playing on the fears of communities traumatised by years of violence.
I know that under John Steenhuisen and Helen Zille I’m not the DA’s targeted demographic; they are working to claw back the verkrampte vote they lost to the Freedom Front Plus, and hold on to the minority base.
Look, I’m clear that I won’t be voting ANC — I will not give them another ticket to mismanage and cripple municipalities. But when I look at the opposition alternative on offer, it leaves me depressed.
The DA has done a good job at alienating me. It has embraced all manner of conservative reactionaries and engaged in the worst form of race-denialism. Now it’s out there irresponsibly stoking racial fires.
Building a minority laager is shortsighted because, in all honesty, the party is correct to say where it governs it governs well. Forget Cape Town, go to Midvaal and see how well Bongani Baloyi has done.
What about the EFF? Err ... absolutely not; I’m also not their target market. Julius Malema, Floyd Shivambu and their travelling circus put me off the minute they open their mouths. They cook up one hare-brained idea after the other. I heard Julius saying he’s going to build RDP homes in Sandton and realised that having never governed anything in his life, except a political formation, he has nothing to offer but populist balderdash.
I won’t even try to analyse the IFP, ACDP, UDM, COPE, PAC or any of the smaller parties. They make zero sense; they appeal to a small core through either religious fundamentalism or regional/ethnic mobilisation. Then there are the constant internal leadership battles, often over the crumbs of a single seat in parliament or council. A waste of a vote these ones.
Maybe I could try the new ones. Herman Mashaba is making a lot of noise, especially in Joburg where he was mayor. But for someone who claims his ActionSA is not a conventional political party, he has strangely enlisted a number of political has-beens to run on its ticket. Granted, Mashaba made some impressive progress as Joburg mayor, especially his efforts at rescuing the Joburg CBD from slumlords and criminals, but he was hamstrung by his coalition partners the EFF. He won’t be able to muster enough votes to win either Joburg or Tshwane outright, so he could become a junior coalition partner to a bigger party if it falls under 50%. So effectively a vote for him would be a vote for his future coalition partner — either the DA or the ANC. I have already told you why these two parties put me off. Why would I want to assist them govern the city I live in through the backdoor?
Maybe I could offer one of the independent candidates my vote, except I don’t know who the independent in my area is or what they stand for. Also, municipal services and billing are centrally controlled. How is a lone independent going to be of service when I’m billed wrong or my rubbish is not collected?
So I ask you dear reader: with this dearth of alternatives, who do I vote for?
I might as well enjoy the day off on November 1, log onto Facebook, message on WhatsApp, and help Zuckerberg regain his lost fortune.